Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
