how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
