your room smells of hookers.
And success
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
