she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
my being single is dangerous.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
