Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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