If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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