I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
