Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
