I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
