Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
