is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
