She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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