Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
