And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
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