I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
