You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
