wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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