so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
