Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
