he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
