Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
