What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
