so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
