YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
