That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
