Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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