anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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