But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
