why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
