where am i from again
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
