so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
