Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
