Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Randomize
