i dont even know how to be here
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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