Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
