What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
