Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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