How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
