What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
