I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
