she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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