Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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