He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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