just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
