My hand turned me down
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
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