I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
