If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
high people should be assigned attendants
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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