she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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