Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
