Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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