Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
